Pregnancy update week 24

So, I guess I have not updated in a while.  Well, there we are today.  I am almost at the end of the second trimester.  Wow, time flies.  At 24 weeks, I am now in my 6th month of pregnancy.  First of all, I am much much more noticeable now than I had been before.  My belly is finally protruding, and it's rising above my belly button.  So wearing regular clothes is starting to become weird.  Maybe i'll post a picture sometime this week.  I have also had a major weight gain.  Apparently since about 4 weeks ago, I gained ~10 lbs, which brings me to 23 lb weight gain all together. I guess, I am still within normal range, but I was hoping to only gain about 30-35 lbs as recommended throughout the entire pregnancy, so that only leaves me about 10-12 lbs to go with still 3 months of major growth.  And it's not to say that I eat THAT much either.  I try to keep my sugar and fats under control.  Oh well...

So I did the 20 week sonogram, and they say it's a boy! I guess we can never know for sure, but considering that different doctors had been confirming this fact throughout my pregnancy, I could be fairly sure.  I have glucose challenge test coming up next weekend, so hopefully I do well on it and don't end up having gestational DM. 

And now, the update from :
Update from baby-center.com

How your baby's growing:

Your baby's growing steadily, having gained about 4 ounces since last week. That puts him at just over a pound. Since he's almost a foot long (picture an ear of corn), he cuts a pretty lean figure at this point, but his body is filling out proportionally and he'll soon start to plump up. His brain is also growing quickly now, and his taste buds are continuing to develop. His lungs are developing "branches" of the respiratory "tree" as well as cells that produce surfactant, a substance that will help his air sacs inflate once he hits the outside world. His skin is still thin and translucent, but that will start to change soon.

See what your baby looks like this week. (Or see what fraternal twins look like in the womb this week.)
Note: Every baby develops a little differently — even in the womb. Our information is designed to give you a general idea of your baby's development.

How your life's changing:

In the past few weeks, the top of your uterus has risen above your belly button and is now about the size of a soccer ball. Most women have a glucose screening test (also called a glucose challenge test or GCT) between now and 28 weeks. This test checks for gestational diabetes, a pregnancy-related high-blood-sugar condition.
Untreated diabetes increases your risk of having a difficult vaginal delivery or needing a cesarean section because it causes your baby to grow too large, especially in his upper body. It also raises your baby's odds for other complications like low blood sugar right after birth. A positive result on your GCT doesn't mean you have gestational diabetes, but it does mean that you'll need to take the glucose tolerance test (GTT) to find out for sure.

This Week's Activity:

Tackle your home improvement projects. Sit down with your partner and take stock of the things you'd like to fix around the house before your little one arrives. Then let your partner handle them. (You shouldn't be exposing yourself to chemicals or getting up on ladders.) Some things for the list:

• Install or check smoke detectors, get a fire extinguisher for each floor of your house, and plan a fire escape route.
• Fix or remove any broken furniture or fixtures.
• Paint the nursery, hang curtain rods, assemble new furniture.

Hey, maybe I should tackle some home improvement projects.  I've long wanted to re-arrange my study room to baby room, and even had some ideas.  I think there is a saying that women have a "nesting syndrome" when they try to clean and re-arrange everything in the house, just like animals make nest for their future family.  Maybe it's finally kicking in. :)

Healthy lifestyle

On some level, I must be bipolar or something.  Or perhaps, cyclothymic.  After a period of depression during my first three months, I suddenly gained all this energy.  I suddenly want to DO things!! Which made me very happy to get out of this slump. I'm suddenly interested in all these things, trying to get my career and schedule back on track, finishing projects, excited about going on vacation in the warm tropical place...:)

But still...leading a healthy lifestyle is a very difficult thing to do.  I don't know how other people do this, but doing daily exeercises is extremely extremely hard.  Maybe they have a normal day or wha not.  I just find myself unable to do it.  After my initialy attempts with pregnancy tape, which were actually successful, I had 2 weeks of severe backpain (probably non-related to exercise), but I stopped exercising regardless.  And, since then, could not pick it up.  In the morning I feel too lazy, and after I come back from work around 12 midnight, I feel too tired... and silly.

As far as the food, I find it really hard to eat healthily.  First, I like food and eating. :) It makes me happy to eat something nice and tasty.  I love LOVE meats, and after 20+ years of eating meat products, it is very difficult NOT to have meat.  I physically feel it when I don't have meat on a given day.  Then, my  biggest sin is sweets.  I love chocolates, cookies, etc.  And especially, after 12+hr day at work, doing some notes at the end, I do cheat and eat cookies with tea.  Eating celery steaks, carrots and non-salty foods does not appeal to me.  I guess the only thing I tend to avoid rather well is fats (oils, creams, chips, etc.)  But after reading this book, Mommy Fabulous, I really doubt that I could conform to the diet that she is offering.  Still I try.  And maybe on some days, I kinda succeed.  But there is only so far you can go with seeds and grains.  :)  I guess I'll never be a model, after all.

Pregnancy update - 20 weeks

From babycenter.com:

Your baby weighs about 10 1/2 ounces now. He's also around 6 1/2 inches long from head to bottom and about 10 inches from head to heel — the length of a banana. (For the first 20 weeks, when a baby's legs are curled up against his torso and hard to measure, measurements are taken from the top of his head to his bottom — the "crown to rump" measurement. After 20 weeks, he's measured from head to toe.)
He's swallowing more these days, which is good practice for his digestive system. He's also producing meconium, a black, sticky by-product of digestion. This gooey substance will accumulate in his bowels, and you'll see it in his first soiled diaper (some babies pass meconium in the womb or during delivery).
See what your baby looks like this week. (Or see what fraternal twins look like in the womb this week.)

*****

How your life's changing:

Congratulations! You've hit the halfway mark in your pregnancy. (Yay!) The top of your uterus is about level with your belly button, and you've likely gained around 10 pounds. (umm...ok, i gained 14-15 lbs). Expect to gain another pound or so each week from now on. (Great!) (If you started your pregnancy underweight, you may need to gain a bit more; if you were overweight, perhaps a bit less.) Make sure you're getting enough iron, a mineral that's used primarily to make hemoglobin (the part of your red blood cells that carries oxygen).

CLOSE WINDOW

Live birth: Epidural

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Surprising Facts: Getting a good night's rest

It may become more difficult to sleep through the night as your pregnancy progresses, thanks to some obvious and not-so-obvious changes taking place in your body. You may be surprised to find that:

• You start snoring for the first time in your life, thanks in part to more estrogen, which contributes to swelling of the mucous membranes that line the nose and may even cause you to make more mucus. What to do: Sleep on your side and elevate your head slightly. (thank god, no).
• Heartburn and indigestion can make it extra uncomfortable to lie down in bed. What to do: Avoid foods that trigger your heartburn, give yourself two to three hours to digest a meal before going to bed, and try sleeping semi-upright in a comfy recliner or propped up with extra pillows under your upper body. (that is actually true - had those symptoms for a while)
• Leg cramps jar you out of a deep sleep. What to do: Ease the cramp by straightening your leg, heel first and gently flexing your toes back toward your shins, or walk around for a few minutes.
• You toss and turn all night trying to find a comfortable sleeping position. What to do: Lie on your side with your knees bent and a pillow between your legs. For extra comfort and support, arrange other pillows under your belly and behind your back. Or try using a contoured maternity body pillow. (yes, true)
• You become hot and sweaty in the middle of the night. It's common for pregnant women to feel a little warmer than usual thanks to shifts in your metabolism, hormones, and weight. What to do: Keep your bedroom cool and strip down to the bare essentials. Keep slippers and a snuggly bathrobe handy for those nighttime trips to the bathroom. (umm...no, i'm always cold.)
• Getting out of bed is harder than ever! What to do: Roll over onto your side so you're facing the edge of the bed. Dangle your legs over the side and use your arms to push yourself into a sitting position. Plant your feet squarely on the floor and then stand up.
• Sometimes even when you're exhausted, you just can't sleep. So do you toss and turn waiting for sleep to catch up with you — or do something else in the meantime? (Guys, seriously, I have no problem sleeping).
• And clearly they don't have my job when they offer all of those days-offs options, spas, etc.  LOLOL I do 24hr shifts.

Pregnancy update - week 16 5/7

Now, the bump finally starts showing.  I will have to change some of my pants soon.  Two things happened recently: developed really bad back pain (I wonder if it was from the exercises I was doing) or from whatever other reason.  And today, in am, I turned while seeing patients, and this very bad back pain just shoot through my back.  Now I turn only with my feet.  I can't move my back.   Great.
I also developed this really bad toothache.  Started a few days ago, it hurts at baseline, and food, acid, hot/cold makes it just worse.  Good thing I am seeing a dentist today.  Hope it's not a root canal...but I think it might be...

As of February 1st, I also made a decision to stop:
-All kylbasa, cold cuts, cutlets, hot dogs, etc.
-All sweets (chocolate, cakes, pies, etc).

Will try to eat healthy foods, fruits, veggies, some carbs with frequent healthy snacks
Will try to do exercises at least 3 times per week.
Will check back in one week, see how that goes.

And now the update from babycenter.com:
*******
"Your baby's skeleton is changing from soft cartilage to bone, and the umbilical cord — her lifeline to the placenta — is growing stronger and thicker. Your baby weighs 5 ounces now (about as much as a turnip), and she's around 5 inches long from head to bottom. She can move her joints, and her sweat glands are starting to develop."

Ranting

Alright, so this is a therapeutic rant post.  Read at your own risk.  Over the past few months, I've been in this severe depression where I just didn't want to do anything.  I came home from work and slept.  I was not interested in work, was not interested in any other activities.  Things that I previously enjoyed: photography, sports, reading, etc.  All I did was basically come home, cry myself to sleep.  Over the time, I've realized that the underlying reason for my  not-well-being was, well, my work.  Or, rather, the politics of it.  At my profession (or at least in my work field), people do not get positive feedback or encouragement.  If you do something really well, lets' say manage a critial patient or save someone's life, no one says anything to you.  BUT. god forbid, you do a tiny mistake (forget or omit something) - you will face the consequences from the chiefs, attendings, virtually a punishment upto doing an extra rotation or being expelled.  Now, I have long lost the fear.  I mean I can't live under pressure the whole time.  Fuck it.  Be it whatever it maybe.  But, I realized that I am one of the people that needs positive encouragement.  I am one of those who do better if the people tell me I do well.  I don't work well in negative environment.  Well, then the question is why did I bother going into this field anyways?  Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm sensitive.  But I'm also human.
I tried to ignore things many times.  Like, when I wasn't awarded anything at the end of last year.  Now, whatever they may say, maybe I was not the best, but I definitely WAS in the top third.  I worked my ass off, after hours and everything.  Covering everything, making sure everything was done.  I was told by people I was one of the best, but no recognitition.  For someone with my personality, it's actually detrimental. Now, people who got the awards were suck-ups and/or flirts mostly.  Seriously though, they gave out 3 4th places, 3 3rd places, 2 second places and 1 first.  That's like 9 ppl out of 30.  And, of course, I was not one of them.  Now, whatever, you may say, sour grapes. But it's actually for me for psychologically traumatic, especially considering that I WAS good, and gave 200%.  But it's a f^&*^&& popularity contest. 

I got mostly good reviews, but occasionally some asshole would write something ridiculous.  Like the fact that I'm lazy, or put out shit that never happened.\ (true story)  Or, i don't know...People write some undeserved bullshit.  And it hurts 5 times as much because chiefs, and residents and most attendings know that I am a very reliable, hard-working person. You just had a bad luck, they say. Forget it, there will be some good evals for you.  Well, why am I always getting fucked up like that? Why??

Now, going one step further...these awarded people got good schedules.  I didn't get my requests.  In fact, no matter, what I asked for (be it scheduling, attendng, a particular order of rotation, switch), I never EVER got any of them fulfilled. I'll record the first if there will be.  Now, I had requested this, say, rotation "A" at a particular hospital because it was in the field I'm interested in and needed for recommendations and my career in general. I requested it for the fall. Guess when they gave it to me?  In June.
Now, aside from the fact, that the applications open July 1, and I wouldn't have time to get recs, etc, I will also be 9 months pregnant at that time.  Which means that I probably wouldn't be able to put in the max hours, and in general, I have no idea how I will tolerate it.  I will also need to go for weekly appointments.  Oh, and did I tell you, this place is 2  hrs away from  my home? Anyways, they vetoed my switch for some bullshit administrative reason.  Seriously, they said, if you are too sick, we'll just take you off the rotation. Well, thanks. I actually wanted to do it.  And not on my 9th month. 
Now, they are giving me this thing called evening float with two 24hr calls.  I already told them that I am pregnant,  but now they want me to cover daily all the medicine teams, answering all pages and doing all blood draws plus the honorary 24hr calls.  In addition, but not doing "regular" rotations, I will also get less letters from attendings, so less evaluations, and my first one was fucked up.

Anyways, I think that they pretty much effectively screwed up my whole career (or, at least) applications this year, that I am not even sure I will apply.  I don't think I have anything to apply with.  No good letters or recs; no rotation "A" that I can boast about.  I know I am pissed off right now, and it's probably not the best evaluation of situation ever, and I have to find solutions.  But, GOD!  Sometimes it is so hard to stay impassionate and rational when you are being dealt shit the whole fucking time. I must've pissed off someone in previous life or something.  Or maybe, I am just paying for all my high school and college success, I don't know...

In terms of depression, I think I am slowly getting out of it, but it's like 2 steps forward, 1 step backward.  Sometimes, I feel "cheery" or at least attempt to, but then 3 days later, I would have a breakdown and not talk to anyone.  I have no enjoyment, and I hate where I am at very much.  Whatever.  I think about some solutions.  After all, tomorrow is another day.

journey begun, lesson learned...

From now on, I'll be trying to update my posts on a daily basis.  I am having a bit of a writer's block as I am just starting to write in a journal after 10+ years of never doing so before.  But, I guess, I have to start sometime.
Learned a lesson from work - if you want to call in sick, call your co-workers BEFORE the boss.  Don't ask me why, but my good initial plan actually backfired, and hopefully, my co-workers who were called within 15 seconds by my boss will eventually forgive me... Oh well, lesson learned.
Otherwise, making baby steps away from laziness.  Laziness is probably my biggest and toughest sin to yet overcome.  I love planning, but hate actually doing stuff, and just procrastinate away.  So today, after wasting most of my day (well, ok, I was very sick, but still), I found power in myself to get up, wash the dishes and do the clean-up before my sister came by. Little step.  Maybe tomorrow, we'll do some exercises even.  LOL.
More to come.

First entry

Hello, this will be my first time posting in this blog.  Here's to hopefully entering a new more optimistic and creative phase of life (for several reasons). Cheers!